Boris Johnson has one remaining option: to become the running mate of Donald Trump!

According to US legislation, a child automatically acquires US citizenship if they are born on US territory, regardless of the nationality of the parents. Former Prime Minister Boris Johnson was born in New York, so after stepping down from the British Parliament, he can redirect his political ambitions towards the United States.

The recently published report by the parliamentary investigative committee thoroughly exposes 'Bojo the clown.' According to the committee, it is abundantly clear that Johnson deceived everyone on a massive scale. The following statement from the report speaks volumes: 'we can only conclude that he lied, and knew he was lying, when he told the Parliament and this committee that no rules were being violated. In doing so, he deliberately misled the Parliament and this committee.' Bojo was aware of the alcohol-fueled parties organized during the Corona lockdowns, and it is noteworthy that Boris' official residence, Downing Street 10, was frequently the venue for these events. Moreover, the well-known British politician himself often took part in these excesses. Boris has always claimed he had no knowledge of these activities, using the excuse that he was only a luttele bit oblivious.

Incidentally, the committee was courteous enough to allow Johnson to review the report before its publication. Based on its contents, he promptly resigned from Parliament, a decision that, in hindsight, proved to be very wise. In the report, the committee recommends the following to the Parliament: 'a 90-day parliamentary suspension.' There was a strong possibility that a majority of MPs would have endorsed this recommendation. That would have been a true humiliation for Bojo, but the committee provided him with the opportunity to quietly exit tjohnson witch hunthrough the backdoor.

’Quietly'? Well, that's a word that doesn't exist in Johnson's vocabulary. Before and after the publication of the report, he loudly criticized the committee members. He referred to the investigation as a 'witch hunt' and likened it to a 'puppet show,' to cite just two expressions from circus ringmaster Boris' flowery repertoire. But what stands out the most to me is his criticism that the committee is 'anti-democratic.' No, sorry, there is one more thing: Johnson actually believes that the witch hunt against him aims to overturn the 2016 Brexit referendum.

A cornered cat makes strange jumps, and that is particularly true in this case for Johnson. Although, he has been making strange - and entertaining - jumps his whole life. Shall I quote a 'charming' statement from the ex-Prime Minister from 2006? 'Papua New Guinea is a country full of orgies of cannibalism and chief murders.' Even if such a statement were intended as a joke, it would have been unacceptable. Johnson, 'however,' meant it seriously...

The investigative committee strongly condemns Johnson's campaign of insults and attempts at intimidation, with two committee members even wishing to permanently expel Johnson from the Parliament. As far as I'm concerned, the entire committee should have taken this stance. Why? Let me quote another line from the report: 'This investigation strikes at the heart of our democracy; it has never happened before that a British leader manipulated the truth in this way before the Parliament.' A 90-day suspension seems like a very light punishment when such a weighty conclusion is drawn...

Despite Boris withdrawal, the House of Commons will still debate the report, but that's not all. Immediately after Boris orchestrated his departure, the committee added an appendix to the report. All former members of Parliament are allowed to keep their passes, allowing them to enter the House of Commons building at their convenience. The committee believes that Johnson should surrender his pass and never be granted access again.

But don't worry, Boris. With a bit of luck, you'll soon have a pass that opens all government doors in Washington, including the Capitol. One phone call should be enough to make it happen. As far as I know, Donald Trump has not yet chosen his running mate for the next presidential election. You must be the ideal candidate for him, there's no doubt about it. As a native New Yorker, you should be able to win the hearts of American voters, right? Now you just need to learn to speak in American English slang. The best exercise for that is to sing Frank Sinatra's song 'New York, New York.'

'If I can make it there, I can make it anywhere.' What more could you want, Bojo? Pay attention, I'm starting the video clip. Clear your throat, dear ex-member of the British Parliament!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=le1QF3uoQNg&ab_channel=FrankSinatra-Topic